Zora Banks, who is a young independent woman, a singer and teacher  moves to another city and meets construction worker, Franklin that has been doing work in her building, specifically her brownstone. Zora notices Franklin and vice versa. Franklin returns later to Zora’s brownstone and they become intimately involved prior to any background discussions.  AFTER the fact, they began to talk about some of their personal life which could be viewed as secrets that they did not share prior to becoming intimate. Then once these truths begin to reveal themselves, the relationship gets complicated. This movie deals with separation, children, pregnancy, finances, employment, job loss and more. Of course I did not want to give away too much but highly recommend you see this movie if you have not already.

Money Implications:  When you are in a relationship, do not make one person feel as if they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders when it comes to finances. If you do, they will eventually grow tired and could seek an escape route.

Observation:  If you are seriously involved with an individual that is separated but not divorced, you need to consider all the facts – what type of debt do they have, are they paying child support, are they working and more.

If your relationship consists of you paying all the bills, know that there is the possibility that your finances will begin to run short because you are the only one paying all the bills, paying for dates, etc. After a period of time, this might not feel as good as when you first started.

When Zora and Franklin met they both had individual dreams, however they let emotions and circumstances of life get them off track. Once she threw him out, they focused on their dreams and accomplished those goals separately.

Recommendations:

1)  Be honest about your backgrounds including finances upfront before there is physical involvement. Emotions can cloud your judgment.

2) Establish mutual financial goals for your marriage. If you are seriously dating and not married yet, pay attention to financial habits that are exhibited even in the dating stage. This could give you insight into how they will handle financial challenges during marriage.

3) If you are in a serious relationship with someone that is separated but not divorced and children are involved, you must really consider a couple of different things: a) if you ended up marrying this person could this happen to you several years down the road where they are now seeing someone else and you are at home with the kids; b) if the person is not paying child support to existing children what would happen if you had children with the person and they left you at some point in time; c) find out what their plan is regarding divorce and what do they see for the future of your relationship?

4) If your husband is a contractor or wants to start his own business, encourage him and do not tear him down. Tearing him down will not result in the bottom line being met.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help. Teamwork – partnership is essential in marriage.

These women share each others triumphs and struggles throughout this movie. Savannah was the professional, single woman that did not let her “single status” keep her from reaching her goals.  Although her mother felt every woman “NEEDS” a man. Robin was the professional, single woman that had been burned by men so much that she did not look at them the same. Furthermore, she had lost her self-respect but gained it back in the end. Gloria was the divorced parent that owned a hair salon and who had almost cut herself off from relationships because she had gotten used to spending time with her son that was graduating from high school. She does have an interest in the widowed neighbor. Lastly, we have Bernadine who was married to a professional and mother of two children. When Bernadine wanted to start a business, he told her it was not the right time. So she put everything she had into building his businesses. Strongly recommend you watch the entire movie.

Money Implications:  I am going to do this based on each character:

Savannah – she had money and still had some degree of difficulty in who she was as a person. Her mother had limited finances and was attempting to keep it from Savannah. Once Savannah found out, she wired the money for her mother.

Robin – she lived somewhat comfortably but was settling for mediocre men. Had a great job and clearly was making money but what she thought about herself was reflected in the men she dated. Did not really value who she was until the end of the show.

Gloria – the entrepreneur of the group. She appeared to be doing well financially.

Bernadine – the true “lesson” in this group. Do not put everything you have into your spouse. This lady was not aware of what the husband had been doing regarding putting <strong>EVERYTHING</strong> in his name. Once he decided he wanted a divorce, initially it appeared as if she was not going to get anything.

Money Tip #1:  Having money does not mean you cannot have financial problems in your life.

Money Tip #2:  If you are an entrepreneur or seeking to become an entrepreneur, do your homework. What type of business are you seeking to start, what are the start-up costs, who is your target audience, can you start this business without taking money from the household budget and another major statement that you cannot ignore: If you are married, talk with your spouse before starting a business especially if it will impact your time and family finances.

Money Tip #3:  This applies to the husband and the wife – share with each other about the household finances. Do not let the money manager be the only one that is aware of all the bank accounts, how much money is in each account and when the bills are due.

Money Tip #4:  Husbands and wives do not get lost in the marriage. Meaning put everything into the one person where you have no self-identity. That costs you in the long run.

Money Tip #5:  Husbands and Wives – stay faithful to your mate and do not even think about the grass on the other side. It does not matter who attempts to flirt with you.  Based on a lot of stories in national news  and facts – people that enter into infidelity are paying a “HEAVY PRICE” and sometimes it is their life in addition to money.

Money Tip #6:  For single parents, if you are not getting the child support that you are due it is up to you to decide what action you are going to take. Also, recommend that you create great memories every day with your children. Creating memories does not necessarily have to involve a lot of money.

Money Tip #7:  For the new single parent, when it comes to money – take the time to sit down and detail your new household budget and expenses. This will show you what you need to run your household from month to month.

Observation:  Money impacts lives in many ways and should not be ignored. Take the time today to look at the roles money plays in your life.

Recommendations:  I know there are times when we as women vent to our girlfriends about our spouses, what I want to say on this is take the time to talk with your husband about your finances and issues you are facing. The two of you are on the same team – solve the situation together.

For the single parent, ensure that you find out all of the resources available to you through different organizations that assist single parents. Some could be local and there could be some that are on the internet. Do your research.

For the newly divorced spouse, pull yourself together and know that being single does not define who you are. Think about what you want to do with your life and what example do you want to set for your children.

Harper Stewart (Taye Diggs), who is a writer and The Best Man at the wedding of Lance (Morris Chestnut) and Mia (Monica Calhoun). The three of them went to college together. Lance was a football player and becomes  a pro player. Needless to say he lived up to the reputation of a football player being physically intimate with all the girls. Then he meets Mia and decides he needs to be with her. Harper tends to dissuade him saying she is a “good, Church going girl”. Eventually Lance and Mia do hook up and he plans on marrying her. The weekend prior to The Wedding, all of their old college friends get together in celebration of this upcoming union. Harper’s book comes out and they discover he has captured their lives in print but changed their names. He tries to say that it is fiction. Lance believes he is the only person Mia has ever slept with but according to Harper’s book secrets begin to come out… You will have to see the movie to get all the juicy details. It is a GREAT movie.

Money implications:

Once secrets are revealed, it can alter the course of a relationship either temporarily or permanently. Whether they are salvageable or not depends on the people in the relationship. These young people set out to accomplish different professions and they did it. It did not change them and they were genuinely happy for each other.

The character Terrance Howard played tried several different things and was talented. The bottom line is he did not stop at one thing  – he kept on going. The bride-to-be was comfortable in who she was and so was the groom regardless of what anyone thought.

Nia Long’s character, Jordan was an independent business woman that had everything going on. Yet she was not in a relationship. Although while they were in college, something almost happened between her and Harper. She is very career focused which happens with many women. Once their career is at a certain point, then they think about dating and/or marriage.

Julian was a teacher and content doing that job, yet his girlfriend Shelby all the college friends did not like. Shelby was a woman that was into shopping and prestige. She wanted Julian to return to become a lawyer and he is not interested. She also was big on pouting if she did not get her way. You will have to watch the movie to find out what happens.

Observation:

One of the main secrets revealed almost caused this wedding not to happen after a lot of money had been spent. It does not matter if you are on the bride’s side or the groom’s side, if a wedding is called off after the money has been spent and you cannot get deposits back it can upset everyone. Granted if you found out something the night before that you just could not live with, then those expenses would not amount to what it could costs you later. Be true to yourself and decide what you need to do. Think about the big picture not just the short-term.  CAUTION:  Too many people rush into a wedding trying to save face. They are more concerned with what people are going to think about them instead of their true feelings about getting married and the person they are marrying. Do not get into the habit of trying to please people.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

1) Financial secrets can tear down trust in a relationship and marriage. Share your financial background upfront and if the fiance’ cannot handle it then you are better off.

2) Be comfortable in who you are. That means if you are comfortable being the homemaker then be the homemaker. If you are employed outside the home, then you are employed outside the home. Have the discussion about what the role of the husband is and what the role of the wife is according to how each of you see it -  not what your parents think. Talk about the respective roles and agree. If you choose not to talk about it, it can be costly in the long term.

3) Husbands and wives have to believe in each other and support them in their individual dreams as well.  At the end of the day, it does affect the household bottom line. Do not be so short-sighted that you think it is only about you. Once you said “I Do” it is no longer “ALL ABOUT YOU”.

A journalist (played by Richard Gere) who is on deadline finds out about this “Runaway Bride” and decides to write about her without getting all of the facts. Okay I know from my brother having been a journalist, that is Journalism 101 – always check your facts before you run a story. The Runaway Bride (played by Julia Roberts) turns around and writes the newspaper and gets him fired. Journalist decides to do his fact checking a little late, after the fact by going to the town where the Runaway Bride is in order to clear his name. He befriends her family, friends and fiance. While the journalist is talking with the Runaway Bride’s father, he shares that he has all of her escapes via videotape and gives them to the journalist.  The father also comments on how he has paid for all of these weddings. Runaway Bride says she is paying for number four. Journalist believes she will not make it down the aisle to number four. The more he finds out about her…. Next question is does she make it down the aisle and marry number four or what does she do? You will have to watch the movie if you haven’t already to find out what happens.

Money Implications:

1) Considering her father paid for three weddings, I do not expect anyone to believe their parents will pay for a second wedding if the first one does not last. The expense of three weddings sure enough could put parents in debt. 

2) This bride has major premarital concerns and if the day of the wedding arrives and you continue to have questions, you should either delay the wedding or call it off. It does not matter what people will think – be true to yourself.

3) Realize that money is being spent for a wedding. Whether you are paying for the wedding or your parents are paying, money is being spent. Do not take it for granted that some of these expenses once you have spent the money there is not an opportunity to get the money back. If you have not begun to talk about finances, now is just as good as any time. Start talking about money for your marriage while you are talking about compromising on financial expenses for the wedding.

Observations:

1) The bride continues to panic as she is at the altar or approaching the altar. The father makes a joke about it but you can tell he is not necessarily happy about this situation. The bride says she is going to pay this time. It’s as if she almost has some guilt about these different attempts.

2) When the bride wants to purchase an expensive wedding gown, the lady at the dress shop does not want to sell it to her because she knows her past history with weddings and not making it down the aisle. She recommends she purchase something less expensive. The journalist steps in and says he will buy the dress. When choosing a dress, buy within your budget.

Recommendations:

1) Wherever you are in your relationship, six months to a year or even longer, start talking about money now. Three out of four married couples argue about money. It is not a written rule that you must become a part of that statistic. Talk about money in order to prevent financial stress in your marriage.

2) Be certain that the person you are about to marry is the person you love regardless of income, appearance or employment status. Let’s be honest, some of the cutest people or most handsome treat people the worse. People do not stay the  same age, size and could change jobs several times throughout marriage.

3) Do not lose your identity in becoming a wife. All to often women lose themselves when they become married, especially if their husband has some type of position. They get lost in being Mrs. XXX and then when he loses that position and/or becomes depressed or becomes upset then they too go through that same behavior instead of being strong and talking him through what happened and encouraging him to move forward. Instead the entire household is now depressed and cannot seem to move out of the slump they are in. **Part of what I saw was the problem with Maggie is she felt she could not be herself which incidentally cost her family in the long run.

Money Implications:

Clearly this movie had money and marriage implications throughout. All the couples had attended college and became exactly what they said they would. The only person that did not was Sheila. However, Sheila put everything into her husband, like so many other women have done and others continue to do. He took all of her money and left her with $87.00 . You will have to watch the movie for more on Sheila.

Money Tip #1 – Do not get so wrapped up in your profession that you forget to take time for each other. Pamper each other and have fun.

Money Tip #2 – There is no benefit to embarrassing your spouse if you paid for starting a business they always wanted. It should be joint funds anyway. When you invest in your spouse, you are investing in your relationship long-term.

Money Tip #3 – Do not talk down to your spouse and demean them.

Observations:

1) Secrets that eventually get revealed can tear down a marriage. Do not let someone have negative information on you that they would blackmail you with. Make sure there are no secrets from your spouse.

2) If you have financial secrets, it is better to get them out on the table prior to the spouse finding out in a way that you had not planned. This leads to distrust in the relationship. Know that is hard to get trust back once it is lost.

Recommendations:

1) Money and marriage do not have to be difficult. People make it difficult based on their believes, past experiences and lack of information.

2) Establish mutual financial goals for your marriage.

3) Support your spouse if he or she is an entrepreneur. Ask them about their business and offer to assist if necessary. Your being supportive of them affects their success.

Without giving to much of it away, this is a couple that met at work, got married, had some kids and was married for fifteen years when it appeared they were going to call it quits. He was the carefree, no rules type of guy. Of course she was the by the book, stick to the schedule and took care of all the problems in the marriage wife. The day came when she got tired and he felt like she turned into her mother. The kids go off to summer camp but when they pickup the kids from summer camp a big decision is made. You are going to have to watch the movie to find out what it is.

Money Implications:

No true money implications from what I could see. They lived comfortably, the kids went to summer camp and he was able to get a new place of residence without it affecting the household finances.

Observations:

1) They had gotten so used to fighting that they resorted to silence. Silence became the norm in their marriage. Do not let this happen especially when it comes to money issues.

2) The problem with silence is if there are financial issues, the one dealing with the issues could make more mistakes when making all the decisions without discussing it with the spouse.

3) The daughter sensed something was wrong with the parents even though they tried to “mask” the problem. Know that kids pick up on every behavior change, non-verbal behavior parents exhibit. They are more aware than what parents give them credit for.

Recommendations:

1) Do not forget to stop and smell the roses regardless of how busy life gets.

2) Take the time to appreciate each other for who they are as they are on the journey to becoming even the best they can be.

3) When there are children in the marriage, exhibit the type of marriage to them you would want them to have including a marriage that has financial talks.

Money Implication:  His bride-to-be is the daughter of a billionaire baseball team owner. He is a freelance sports writer. One would think this would affect the relationship. The groom’s best friend does try to use this to her advantage as one of the tools to break up their relationship. Yet his bride-to-be pulls it off the table.

Money Tip #1: Do not let money be the driving factor to your walking down the aisle. Marry for love and not money.

Money Tip #2: In my opinion if you have a pre-nup it says you are planning for the divorce before you say “I Do.” Love is a choice and not an emotion.

Money Tip #3: Do not let society dictate your wedding or marriage. You know what is true and right in your heart.

Caution: All of your friends might not be happy about your upcoming wedding. However, be realistic and make a wise decision. The heart does not lie.

Second Caution: Do not settle for less than you deserve because all of your friends are married. Take your time because the right person will come along.

Money Implications: Robbie’s (the Wedding Singer) obviously did not have a conversation with his bride-to-be Linda prior to the wedding day about their finances. That is one of her primary reasons for not wanting to marry him because she believes he is limited in what he can make. Julia – the young waitress that he helps she is not being true to herself at first and settling for her groom. She settles because she believes that Robbie is not available.

Recommendation: Begin the Money Talk during the engagement so no one is left standing at the altar wondering what happened to their respective bride or groom. It’s when money is not discussed on any level that financial situations start to arise as you are preparing to walk down the aisle and right after the honeymoon.

Money Tip #1: Do not continue to focus on the past as you are planning your future especially when it pertains to money. You will not be able to move ahead.

Money Tip #2: Look at the inside person, not just the outside. I’m sure you have heard the saying “All that Glitters is not gold.” Same hold true, if a person is taking you here and there, spending left and right you might want to check the financial foundation or their financial situation.

Recommendation:  It is better to ask the hard questions instead of marrying into debt.

Warning: Do not be short-sighted as you are preparing to walk down the aisle. Think long term and listen to what is being said and the actions that are being presented to you. DO they line up?

Money Implications: The father is a “tightwad” as some might say. The mother and daughter are excited about the upcoming wedding and spend, spend, spend. In my opinion this sends the wrong message because she could spend uncontrollably against her soon to be husband’s wishes once married.

Money Tip #1: Emotions tend to dictate money solutions and should not. I always recommend people step back from the situation and let cooler heads prevail.

Money Tip #2: If you are a shopper, admit to it up front and do not let your spouse be surprised weeks after you return from the honeymoon that each week you are spending uncontrollably.

Money Tip #3: Pertaining to parents and married adult children, be cautious in the area of money. The husband and wife need to viewed as the husband of his new wife and not just “their son” and vice versa. They should for their household finances initially without running to mom or dad.

Money Tip #4: The wedding day is only the beginning of the marriage, begin the money talk prior to the wedding and continue it throughout the marriage.

Money Implications: I knew this would be a fun one for me to assess because of the title and my not being a shopper.

First:  Her mindset from her youth was as a shopper. This carried over into when she became an adult.

Money Tip: If you are a shopper, you are shopper. You can learn to shop within balance.

Second:  This character had an excuse for everything she bought.

Money Tip Stop shopping on impulse. You should not have to make an excuse for the things you purchase. That already says you know you should not have purchased it.

Third:  This character stated she heard the mannequin calling out to her.

Money Tip: If you are walking in the stores and you hear the voices saying, come and buy me. You can respond mentally and say it is not the appropriate time. I am not giving in and walk away. Leave without giving in. It may be a challenge at first but you can overcome impulse shopping and overspending.

Overall Lesson: This movie clearly shows how your upbringing and exposure does affect your choices when you become a young adult and as an adult. 

Recommendation: Do not hide it from your spouse that you are a shopper. It will eventually come out if you try to keep it a secret and it might come out to your disadvantage.