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1) Stop using credit cards all together. Oh yea, I know this might be hard for some of you and I encourage you to think about it this way, if you are using a credit card that is not tied to your bank account what you are doing is incurring more debt. A bank credit/debit card the money is coming out right away. But a credit card that is not, means that you are charging something that will continue to have future payments until you pay it off.

2) Pay your credit card bills on time which means seven to ten days before they are due. This way you do not get hit with those late charges which could cause you to end up with overage charges.

3) Be conscious of when your charges on your bank card actually hit your account. Hint: They usually do not hit your account the day you charge it, as a matter of fact it can take several days. I have witnessed several people in the bank mad because when all the charges hit their account at once, it put them in overdraft situations. They were not notified by the bank and all those fees make it worse.

4) If you work outside of the home, brown bag the lunch. Adds up really fast. The money you save put it towards a debt.

5) Do not fall into the trap of consolidating debt and then re-charging up all the credit cards. Recipe for disaster.

6) Make a list when going to the mall or other retail outlet and stick with it. DO NOT apply for the credit card offers.

These are only some beginning ways to reduce debt.

Below are the steps you should take to start repairing your credit:

1) Before you do anything, order a copy of your credit report. ONLY ONE from one of the credit bureaus. Sooo many people have gotten hooked on ordering all three at once from Annualcreditreport.com that they don’t realize now if they needed to order a second one they would have to pay for it.

2) Do not get too ansy because it will take several weeks before you receive it. Once you receive your credit report, you want to go over it with a fine tooth comb. Types of errors you are looking are outdated information, information that is not yours, wrong addresses and mind you make sure you check the social security number and make sure it is yours. Prime example — when I met my husband, the credit bureaus had his and his older brother’s credit on each others credit report. Their social security numbers were one number different and we spent a lot of time disputing that information. SO CHECK EVERYTHING.

3) Dispute any incorrect information on the forms provided or you can write a letter explaining the incorrect items. When you dispute information be very thorough and explain why it is wrong. Before you send this form back, make several copies for your file. Furthermore, when you send it back, you send it certified receipt. This allows you to get a signature card back showing you the date it was received and who signed for it. You always want to have PROOF they received it. The credit bureau has 30 days to make the changes and send you a new report.

4) Upon receiving the corrected credit report, formulate a plan for paying off and reducing debt. Put the credit card debt in order from smallest to largest. Knowing that people need some encouragement, start with the smallest outstanding debt and pay it off.

CAUTION: Do not dispute all the incorrect information all at once, it comes off as suspicious. Do two or three items at a time if you have found numerous errors.

They are getting more collection calls and the spouse that is attempting to institute order feels as if they are being disrespected. For the spouses that are reading this and that it applies to you are not alone. It sure feels as if you are going through this alone and there is not anyone around that you can talk to. There are people right there going through the same thing yet none of you are willing to speak out for fear of being judged, condemned or even looked down on. I am glad you are here at this site, because I feel your pain and am here to help you and will not judge you.

In a time when you are hurting so deeply, crying yourself to sleep if you can even sleep, help is here. I am here to listen to you, hold your hand and give you the truth. There may be times when you might not like what I have to say and that’s okay but you need the REAL. You do not need to be told something that will tickle your ears.

Yes this is a membership site, because there is an investment for you to make. If you do not make the investment then you do not value what you get. Therefore, you must understand the information shared here is PRICELESS… so your investment is minimal. What if the information you received in day one made a difference??? You won’t know until you become a member.

Dry your eyes and let’s get to work. March is just around the corner.

Have you heard that in life it is all about presentation? Think about it when men and women get ready to go on a date with that special person, they take the time and extra care to groom themselves in such a way that they will not be rejected but accepted. They are even nervous or have butterflies in their stomach because they want to be received in such a way.

How are you presenting your financial challenges to your spouse? Are you calling him at work and reading him the riot act? If so, what did that solve? When he gets home, how did you greet him at the door? Or did you not greet him but say What the He_ _ double hocky sticks did you spend money on today? Instead of Hello Honey, how are you and wait until later to discuss the finances.

Presentation is key. For example – for the wife who has been crying herself to sleep at night because of the financial strain. You can make it and you must be willing to be honest and invest the time to re-evaluate your finances and make some necessary changes. I remember feeling as if there was nothing else you could do and getting to the point of being at the end of myself and crying out to God for help. Then there was help.

Or for the wife that pretends she’s asleep in the morning as he gets ready to leave for work to avoid any discussion about work, those mornings do not have to exist if you learn how to talk about the finances and become solution oriented.

I don’t have to be Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman or anyone else. The only person I have to be is Dr. Taffy, wife who came into her marriage with debt, established a five year game plan and got out of debt within two and a half years without filing bankruptcy. I am the woman who got food from the food banks, had to re-establish her credit at 18 or 21% and rebuilt the credit. The wife’s post you are reading has been happily married for 14 years and knows firsthand about being in the church with debt, being a business owner and the business not making money and much more.

Will you join Marriagemoneymatters.com today? It is a membership site that gives you access 24/7 to financial solutions, resources and expert interviews in the comfort and privacy of your own home. You will be invited to monthly chats about specific financial topics and more. Go to sign up and let’s make the necessary adjustments in your finances that can impact your marriage today.

When you have those frustrating days, be thankful because that also lets you know that you need to change the course of action that you are taking. Why did you get frustrated? What was your role in the frustration? Is this a reoccurence within your marriage that could have been prevented? Regardless of what your answer is, look at the big picture and make the necessary changes that you can in order to help your marriage. Do not try to change your husband – that’s not your role nor your responsibility.

Let your frustration cause you to take another step today in getting to the root cause of your money and marriage issues. Is it because someone does not feel worthy of having no financial issues? Is it because that is the way you think it is supposed to be based on the past? What is the root cause. There are times when we use money as an excuse and if we had the money there would still be THIS issue. That is the ROOT! This could be the beginning of one of your biggest periods of growth – what are you going to do?

Now there are husbands who have enabled their wives by not saying nothing because they felt eventually the wife would stop. However, six, seven, some even ten years later he is fed up and wants to leave. But when he thinks about it, he has not ever said anything to the wife.

If this is you, wife, how are you going to correct this situation? Do you apologize and ask for forgiveness and turn over a new leaf or do you let this continue?

If you choose to turn over a new leaf, that means you have to break those old habits and also might mean getting rid of some of your friends that also encouraged you to spend. Steps to take:

(1) Do not spend when unhappy.

(2) Do not call your girlfriends that encouraged you to spend unnecessarily.

(3) When you go shopping have a list and stick to it. Do not be persuaded by the credit card offers when you walk in the store.

(4) Stay focused when you are in the store. Do not fall for the trap of all the new items that you did not know were there.

(5) When you are by yourself  – do not let loneliness cause you to go shopping and spend just to have something to do.

(6) Create a chart detailing what you are saving and show it to your husband after 3 months. He will be proud that you are taking a step to stop spending wrecklessly during the marriage.

Wives, congratulations for taking this step to ending spending uncontrollably. Your marriage will be better for it.

Secondly, not having your own money makes you feel insecure about yourself and your situation. What if something happened to your husband? Do you even have access to money and are you aware of what is in the accounts? Ladies, I am not saying you have to control the money. What I am saying is that it is always important that a wife has money as well as has access to money. If you are the money manager for the family, you should be able to handle the business – paying the bills, buying groceries, pampering yourself when necessary and if there are kids make sure they are taken care of as well.

How do you resolve this matter:

1) What is it that you want to do? Are you a stay at home mom or are you a homemaker?

2) What is the reason that you do not have your own money? Don’t blame him. Just look at yourself right now and be honest. What’s the reason?

3) What is the first step you can take to ensure you begin to have some money of your own? (Part of it might be talking with your spouse openly about your feelings because you do not have your own money).

If you are in a position where you can return to work, then discuss with your husband first what you are feeling and what you would like to do. No you are not asking his permission, you are expressing to him that you need to do something for yourself that will also contribute to the household. 

Remember wives, it is all in how you say things.  The presentation and the tone in how you present it makes a big difference.

Let me be candid and share with you Ladies, that I told her yes because it is when you do not  pay the credit card bill on time that people are hit with late fees. The late fees have the potential of putting people over their allowed limit and therefore they are also now going to be hit with an overlimit charge and once that pattern begins it can be difficult to break that trend.

Listen Ladies, when it comes to saving in the beginning it is not about the amount that you are saving but the discipline to continuously put money in an account regularly the same time each month. If you have the option of setting up an automatic deduction like I shared in the video, then do it so you will not miss it. Let’s face it, every little bit adds up over time. So if you have to start with $5 or $10 a week then that is what you do. I am sure you have heard if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit. Form a new habit today and begin saving money no matter what your income level is.

Weigh in and share what you think.

(1) Make sure whatever household bills needed to be paid were paid.

(2) Ensured all vendors were current and no outstanding accounts.

(3) Prepare to do the billing to vendors for December work.

(4) Discuss with husband what items needed to be purchased during the weekend so that his week would flow smoothly.

(5) Share with husband what the budget was for the upcoming projects he had and ensure that we discuss each day what his expenses are so that I could have an accurate ledger sheet.

Handling the finances this way allowed for household to be taken care of , projects are allocated for and everyone is happy.

It is important that husbands and wives include each other in the financial plan. Not make all the decisions and tell the spouse this is the way it is. My road or no road.