How to be a Helpmate and not a Hindrance

Genesis 2:18 says And Jehovah Elohim said, “It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helpmate”. Helpmate is defined as a companion, to assist and usually refers to the spouse. I want to talk about being a helpmate and not being a hindrance to your own marriage.

Wives, let’s face it when most of us come into our marriage, we are learning even more about who we are and how we respond to different situations. Why? Because this could be your first marriage and even though you may have dated for a while or had a long engagement, things become real once you are married and sharing the same space. Granted, you Love this person however, society has depicted the picture of focusing on yourself and putting yourself first. However, as a Christian – God teaches us about being selfless and focusing on the other person.

When it comes to money and marriage, it is important that as wives, we are not selfish and make decisions based on emotions, past financial mistakes he might have made or even immaturity. Have you heard the saying “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. Well, so true, do not go and spend money because he spent money and you did not want him to.

In my opinion, a helpmate is not to sit and complain about this situation and that situation. It is her responsibility to survey the situation in complete detail, talk with the husband about the finances and then both agree on a solution. Since more than likely the wife will have more time to think clearly about whatever the situation is, she should think about what is best for the marriage and not just what is best for her.

Other Tips for the Helpmate:

1) Don’t keep a scorecard on how many times your spouse has made a mistake.

2) Understand what your strengths and weaknesses are when it comes to finances, as well as your spouse. Example: Are you better at money management and saving. Is he better at paying bills. Either way, make sure that you are working the strengths to the advantage of the marriage.

3) When forgiving your spouse about financial issues, be specific and do not throw the error up in his face whenever things get a little tough.

4) Remember to keep God at the forefront of your marriage and seek his Face.

5) Do not gossip to your girlfriends in a negative fashion about your spouse. Misery loves company. Don’t be a part of their misery.

6) Get help from a financial counselor if needed. If you are a member of this site at the intermediate or graduate level, you get a chat with me. Use it when you are ready.